The obsolete, gas-guzzling engine of the decommissioned Hummer will finally be silenced by an array of 12 volt motors and acid bathed batteries. The only sound you'll here over the "humming" of the electric engines on this ride is the blasting of the Browning .50 CAL. machine gun attached to the roof. Well equipped to "cap" any insurgent who's dumb enough to get within range of this savage new vehicle. Mr. Nevans was unable to learn if Toyota was going to roll out a civilian version of this beast, but did hear they were looking into it. Barry said it would be perfect for traveling down the HOV lanes back at home, adding that whenever some idiot is just hanging out on his cell phone driving 40, you could load up a clip, pull the trigger and clear out the lane.
Some of the vehicle features Barry was able to grab from the his presentation of the top secret Hexagon documents are as follows:
• Complete, welded steel roll cage to protect your passenger (AKA the gunner)
• Fully integrated "rapid-fire" machine gun turret (50 CAL.) mounted to roof
• Dual fire control switching, either at gun breach or as a steering wheel mount
• All windows are bullet-proof with interior factory defrosters still operable
• Bullet proof Lexan headlight covers allow for full-beam penetration (each lamp measured at 500,000 candle power)
• Expanded trunk for carrying over 10,000 .50 CAL rounds and 2 dozen rockets
• Run-flat tires at all corners with no need for a spare (no room in the trunk anyhow due to magazine and RPG storage)
• De-latched and seamless doors for extra security* (must enter vehicle through rear hatch) *This feature may not be available on the civilian model
• Kevlar side skirt inserts in each door panel for added protection
• Clearly branded with the priUSAttack graphics (also developed by Barry @ ZooCore Design)
• Full under body armor plates for thwarting IED or roadside bomb attacks
• 120mm rocket launcher mounted under front grill (disguised as running lights)
• No color options available, delivered in olive drab only (consumer models will have more paint selections)
• Interior is clad in heavy-duty vinyl for easy clean up of most blood splatters(consumer models will have a leather option).
Stay tuned and watch for this new Knee Jerk machine heading stateside soon!
1 comment:
This is perfect! Especially on "Carbon Belch Day"! I want one of these so please keep us posted.
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